Do you ever feel like a fake?

I worked in advertising for 10 years as a Business Director, and felt like an imposter most of the time. I was good at pretending I was great at my job (or so it felt) and I played it small, and stayed under the radar trying my best not to be noticed or stand out in any way.

I felt pretty insecure every day. I was battling with anxiety by the end. The fear of being found-out was too much.

Now I’m sure if you’d worked with me, you wouldn’t have seen it. I held my shit together pretty well, playing it cool, calm and collected. No-one could tell. Yet underneath I was wilting like a dead flower

Can you relate? I’m sure you can.

So what’s this really about? And what can we do about it?

There’s this deep sense in all of us that we’re just not enough. We all have our own ‘not enough’ story on repeat in our heads – we’re not ‘pretty’ enough, not ‘thin’ enough, not ‘experienced’ enough, not ‘(XXX – insert own word here)’ enough.

These stories are formed in the early years, and then reinforced over many years of our own (what we deem as) ‘negative’ experiences. Things that happen to us that don’t feel very good. Things people say to us about art we’ve drawn or stories we’ve written when we’re children (talking about myself here). I stopped drawing at 12 when my teacher gave me the lowest mark in class for a piece of work i’d spent ages creating. It didn’t meet her curriculum ‘brief’ whatever this meant. I’m sure she didn’t realise, but in that moment the damage was done. I cemented in the belief I wasn’t creative enough.

I don’t know about you, but i’m getting bored of my stories and I want to shift them. I want to feel enough in my life.

Here’s how i’m doing it:

1) Strengthening my relationship with myself. Whatever we feel on the inside, will express on our outside. I want to feel enough on the inside. Every morning I spend 10 mins in meditation boosting myself from the inside out – I created one this month to help download it here

2) Release my old history. Come and join me at our next SoulTonic session and transform your ‘not enough’ stories – details here

3) Tell myself I’m enough. I take some nice deep breathes into my body and cells, and tell myself: “I am enough” as many times as it takes to feel better! Try it, stick with it, honour any resistance you feel (it’s normal)

xxx